be splendid

mitch delmungiao. occasional bitchy flibbertigibbet.

insta: captainjdelmungiao
snap: jdelmain


Aries: stop jackin off
Taurus: hoe and not ashamed of it
Gemini: fake
Cancer: crybaby ass
Leo: BIG Bitch and u fuckin kno it. u love it dont u.
Virgo: ethereal and always SO busy
Libra: basic
Scorpio: u are sleepy and powerful.
Sagittarius: probably like drinkin some healthy shit. u look good as hell too.
Capricorn: bitter
Aquarius: clean ur fingernails
Pisces: stop bein so stingy an love urself

(via brokendildo)


listen, i’m never going to let you use my laptop idk what exactly i have to hide but i’m 200% sure there’s something

(via sixfigs)

  • season 1: drake helps josh w/ a crush
  • season 4: drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans


" I am not in love with you. I am in love with the idea of you. If it’s any consolation, you’re the best idea I’ve ever had. I’m sorry. "

(via wrapi)




Good lord

(via fvckyoulvcy)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
So..what you took your life into your own hands and became a stripper? How sad that taking your clothes off for horndogs who hand out dollar bills into your thong is what you call a happy life. Sad how you never loved yourself enough so you build up your confidence by being naked and slutty around everyone.
delmungiao delmungiao Said:



I clearly love myself more than you love yourself and you sending me all these messages is just proving my point further. So thank you for hating yourself so much that you make yourself look like an idiot ❤️

Loving yourself is having the confidence and swagger to perform half or fully naked in front of people
Don’t be jealous because your daddy is blowing your college tuition on a fantasy we provide but will never fully give


Need condoms? Right there in the fucking aisle in a supermarket or CVS.
Need female birth control? Nah bruh, need a prescription and the consent of the lord Jesus Christ amen

(via symmetricalvagina)

dogs after being rescued from shelter (source)

(via symmetricalvagina)

  • cat owner: hears noise from the next room over
  • cat owner: i don't know what you're doing, but i know that you should stop


constantly thinking “wow, i’ve really internalized some toxic shit”

(via symmetricalvagina)


God bless America

(via symmetricalvagina)